A Word of Caution for Women

Women, stop watching your biological clock for a few moments when you go hunting for a husband. For, as for age, it's really just a number - you're as young as you want to feel. Then when you meet a man, give yourself time to check him out inside out. If he has virtues, they won't be denied, and if he's making too much effort to make them known, that might very well be a stop sign. People who are good, shouldn't have to sing their own tunes, they let others do the honors. You should not just be looking for the strengths because nobody is infallible. So there you go! The same person you have singled out as your suitor must therefore have some faults with which you will have to contend, should you decide to make him an intimate partner. He might not want to be the first to place all his cards on the table, since most human beings want to make a good first impression. Which is precisely the reason why you cannot take what you get at the outset as the ultimate. That's tantamount to a woman who cannot afford to take a man at his word if he utters it in the throes of sexual ecstasy. She needs to wait until he's sober for him to say something that makes sense. Similarly, during the first few months, he's still on a high like a child with a brand new toy, so whatever he says and does during that time would have been executed while he still has his guards up. (See When Love is Doomed at Lulu.com). Hence, in the fist few months or even years, you have your work cut out for you. And this is like bird-watching, where the slightest movement can prevent you from getting a good look at the skylark in its natural habitat. Taking him for a sex drive and ask questions later is a rookie mistake that most women live to regret. However, should you decide against that first rule of thumb, the least you can do is to protect yourself against pregnancy, and by common sense, venereal diseases. But let's just say you have been a good girl who waits to find out all there is to know about your Prince Charming designate. Your next move is to weigh his dirty habits to see if those are things you are prepared to tolerate without bearing too much pain. His vices might be variable as well as they might be fixed. Your job is not to try to change him, using love as the leverage: "If you loved me you would do it for me!" He will do it for the sake of that remark, but what happens when the love plateaus? Therefore, you either take him on board with his baggage or move on to the next suitor in line. There are more fishes in the sea, for God's sake.